Rachael Ray Show

upset

janny1919

Posted:
2008-01-08 9:55 AM

I just watched the show and I had to write. I am OUtraged and i dont know if it is just that I dont know the full story or what BUT a mother is suppsed to be supportive not jelouse and that is what I see here. I cant beleive that you took this journey as HUGE as it is and you lost your friends and family because you talked about it or were happy excited proud of yourself. I dont see that you did anything wrong here you did nothing that we all dont do I started weight watchers a minth ago and lost 10 poubds I called my mom every weight in and told her how much i lost and my mother said good for you thats great stick with it. My sister joined ww and she called me and told me of her weight losses and I was happy for her too...I dont understand what you did wrong I see nothing but unsupportive family and friends that were jelous of you for doing something they wished they could do. I applaud you for your success and you should be proud...but i think that your friends and family have some confessing to do and to make some of their own applogies to you...

janet

mlsfromhome

Posted:
2008-01-08 10:04 AM

I love my mother very much. We went through a lot, but she is very much one of the most supportive people in my life. Nobody should be judged based on a TV show

cncfarm

Posted:
2008-01-08 10:41 AM

I have been going through a similar situation. My friend, that is 15 years younger than me, has lost about 55 pounds in the last 6 months. I am not too over weight but I have put on 20 pounds in the last 10 years going from 120 to 140 on a 5 ft frame. My friend, in some ways regards me as her mother as she has a very strained relationship with her mother.
I struggle with obtaining goals, being organized and keeping my home and property clean and organized. Where as, my friend has always been an immaculate house keeper, organized with lists, in her spare time she goes through utility bills to find hidden charges to get off her bill and save money. We work together and in the last few years she has been able to run circles around me. She's 34 and I'm 49. Through this process of her exercising and losing weight, I have heard all the details. Just like Hallie thought she could tell her mom and friends about all the weight she has lost, but was oblivious to how this affected her friends. So is my friend oblivious to my feelings. I don't believe that Hallie's mom was jealous of her daughter as much as felt judged.
I'm sure there is a lot more going on than what we saw on the show, just like there is a lot more to my situation. Little things do add up. I'm sure that now that they have been able to get their feelings out in the open, Hallie and her mom will have an even closer relationship, which will really help while they make the wedding plans.
This has been a touchy subject but I'm glad the RR show aired it as it has helped me to understand a little better the confusing emotions I have towards my friend. Sometimes girlfriends can be more honest with each other than a mother can be with her daughter because she doesn't want to hurt her feelings. I'm stuck between being a friend and being a mother.

joanne633

Posted:
2008-01-08 10:57 AM

I can understand you being upset, my Mom is overweight, I have been trying to lose weight for a year now, I am no where near as overweight as my mom, but when I tell her I have lost a pound, she is happier than I am. Your Moms treatment of you was wrong,your mom is jealous of you.Your mom owes you a huge apology.

kim8184

Posted:
2008-01-08 10:59 AM

Hi Hallie. Let me start off by saying that I think you look absoultly wonderful. I started watching the episode with you, and for a minute, I thought I was on the show. I also had a gastric bypass in 2003. I lost 225lbs. I am so proud of you. I to made the decision to have the surgery when my family and I went to an amusment park here in Ohio (Cedar Point). I couldn't fit on the rollercoaster with my dad, which is something we had been doing since I was a little girl. I was so upset when I was watching your story. I was actually talking to the t.v. Of all the people to be jealous in your life, your mother should not have been one of them. Your parents, and friends, children and husbands and wives should be the most supportive people in your life. The people in your life should have celebrated with you instead of hold a grudge. How absurd is it that your own mother would be jealous of you. She should have been the one to have your back, and tell you how wonderful you were doing, and how proud she was of you. If she had any sort of issue with you, she should have been a mom, and brought it to your attention. Congratulations on your engagement, you certainly deserve it. You have my utmost respect and support, because I know what you had to go through. All I have left to say is if you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to email me @ easterwood91@aol.com, my name is Kim. Oh one more thing. YOU GO GIRL!!!

GertrudeFinkbinder

Posted:
2008-01-08 11:18 AM

I know what it is like to be treated badly because of weight loss. When I was working a few years ago I lost almost 100 lbs. It was a hard struggle for me but I did it and was back to my proper weight. I bought pretty clothes and felt good about myself. I received compliments and motivational comments from my male coworkers, but the females turned on me! I was not flaunting myself or acting like I looked better than them, but their whole attitude toward me changed.
I did receive lots of compliments from friends and family, but not from my female coworkers. One of the women even took me aside and told me that the women were very jealous of me and "hated" me.
I was very hurt. My family was extremely supportive and my husband was so proud to be seen with me.
I had always been slim and trim all my life (but gained a lot of weight after having kids, etc.) and I knew what it was like to be a normal weight. So it wasn't like I came out of some kind of cacoon or something totally new to me.
All I can say is be supportive of anyone who makes the effort to improve themselves. rather it's to stop smoking, drinking, drugs, weightloss, whatever it may be.
It's hard work and takes a lot of mental drive to reach a goal of any kind.

dynamic1

Posted:
2008-01-08 11:33 AM

janny1919 said @ 2008-01-08 09:55:13:

I just watched the show and I had to write. I am OUtraged and i dont know if it is just that I dont know the full story or what BUT a mother is suppsed to be supportive not jelouse and that is what I see here. I cant beleive that you took this journey as HUGE as it is and you lost your friends and family because you talked about it or were happy excited proud of yourself. I dont see that you did anything wrong here you did nothing that we all dont do I started weight watchers a minth ago and lost 10 poubds I called my mom every weight in and told her how much i lost and my mother said good for you thats great stick with it. My sister joined ww and she called me and told me of her weight losses and I was happy for her too...I dont understand what you did wrong I see nothing but unsupportive family and friends that were jelous of you for doing something they wished they could do. I applaud you for your success and you should be proud...but i think that your friends and family have some confessing to do and to make some of their own applogies to you...

janet

I felt the same way, Janet. It seemed to me, and I'm trying hard not to be judgmental here, that the people that Hallie needed most abandoned her at a time she really needed them. Now I know there are two sides to every story, but her boyfriend stuck by her side, where were her family, her friends and her mom?

"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure..."

LadyDi72

Posted:
2008-01-08 12:13 PM

cncfarm said @ 2008-01-08 10:41:47:

I have been going through a similar situation. My friend, that is 15 years younger than me, has lost about 55 pounds in the last 6 months. I am not too over weight but I have put on 20 pounds in the last 10 years going from 120 to 140 on a 5 ft frame. My friend, in some ways regards me as her mother as she has a very strained relationship with her mother.
I struggle with obtaining goals, being organized and keeping my home and property clean and organized. Where as, my friend has always been an immaculate house keeper, organized with lists, in her spare time she goes through utility bills to find hidden charges to get off her bill and save money. We work together and in the last few years she has been able to run circles around me. She's 34 and I'm 49. Through this process of her exercising and losing weight, I have heard all the details. Just like Hallie thought she could tell her mom and friends about all the weight she has lost, but was oblivious to how this affected her friends. So is my friend oblivious to my feelings. I don't believe that Hallie's mom was jealous of her daughter as much as felt judged.
I'm sure there is a lot more going on than what we saw on the show, just like there is a lot more to my situation. Little things do add up. I'm sure that now that they have been able to get their feelings out in the open, Hallie and her mom will have an even closer relationship, which will really help while they make the wedding plans.
This has been a touchy subject but I'm glad the RR show aired it as it has helped me to understand a little better the confusing emotions I have towards my friend. Sometimes girlfriends can be more honest with each other than a mother can be with her daughter because she doesn't want to hurt her feelings. I'm stuck between being a friend and being a mother.

Little things only add up if you let them. When you address the little issue when it 'appears' by saying I value you and our friendship but, this really hurt my feelings, then you provide communication lines that will eventually create a true relationship. (By the way, your only stuck if you choose to be.)

cncfarm

Posted:
2008-01-09 1:43 AM

My daughter is very over weight. I would love for her to lose 100 pounds. If she called me everyday and told me how much she lost I would be very happy for her. It would be a relief to me as well. I worry about her health. That is one of the reasons I have had such a time dealing with how I feel about my friend. In my way of thinking a mother doesn’t get jealous of her children but rejoices in their triumphs. Was I, am I jealous of my friend or was it that her ability to conquer her demons only made mine seem worse to me? It has not been just the diet and exercise. It’s also her detailed descriptions of cleaning her closet, her bathroom, her garage, her garden. As I sit listening, all the stuff I need to be doing is running through my mind. The bad part is I’m not a lazy person. I work in my garden. I take care of my pool. I took my animals for walks when it was nice out. I tried to keep my garage clean. I try but I don’t succeed. My friend knows this. She say me making a Christmas shopping list, she said “Oh she’s making a list.” Like she owns the only right there is to make lists. When she was a little girl and I taught her girl’s bible class, I made her pony birthday cake. I had 3 children to take care of but I was organized enough then to get that done for her. So, I’m older now my kids are all grown up and I don’t want to adhere to regime. Yeah, I made a list so what? I guess that’s what I should have said.
My friend’s doctor gave her Adipex at the beginning of last summer. This gave her a tremendous boost in energy. She started going to work out every night after work. (We have worked together for about 15 years. I have known her since she was 5 years old. She is 35 now.) Water aerobics, kick boxing, step and on Saturday and Sunday she walked for at least an hour each day. It was just about super human. She was at work a lot of times by 7:00 in the morning because she couldn’t sleep. She didn’t have to be there until 8 or even 9 if she wanted. I asked her to stay with me while my husband was out of town. We were going to go out to eat but she decided that she needed to go to aerobics class and she’d get there about 8:00 that night. Another time her sister in law asked her to help her do something. It would mean she would miss aerobics class. She fretted and fretted about it of which I got to hear all about. She figured out how to help her sister in law but not miss class. Then on Halloween, she finds out that the city has declared trick or treat to be 5:00 – 7:00. She frets and frets about that and takes her Halloween candy back to the store. (She does not have children.) and makes it to aerobic class. Then I’d get to hear all day long about how sore her muscles were because she worked out so hard the night before.
I did tell my friend how I felt on New Year's Eve. She and her husband wanted to come to our house which a few months ago would not have bothered me but I was all stressed out trying to get things picked up and clean before they arrived so as not to live up to or down to her expectations of me. Anyway, it was very poor timing and all I did was hurt her terribly. I told her I felt judged. I tol her I didn't need to know every detail of her life. I was trying to grasp my feelings and I said I don't know why I feel like I do maybe I'm jealous. She started bawling. "That's what my mother thinks of Me." She cried, “I thought you were like a mother to me now you feel the same way." She proceeded to cry like her world had ended. The next day, after everyone left and I was alone, I felt like I had ripped her heart out and stomped it. Having a terrible hangover didn’t help much either. I called her and told her I was sorry and I would be a nicer person. Which looking back on it was not a good thing to do because I don’t think I can be any nicer than I am. What I really need to do is be nice to myself.
All I know is I would not feel this way towards my real daughter yet I have felt this way to my friend which has thought of me as her mother.
I have made progress in the last few months to be more organized and keep my house picked up. I joined a gym and have actually gone a few times. I just need to tell myself I’m doing this for me not because my friend’s quest for perfection makes me feel like a loser. I really am trying to be more positive to my self and my friend.

Lurch_Papa

Posted:
2008-01-09 1:49 AM

We are running 80% Fibromyalgia, 20% Hallie posts. Good topics that will no doubt attract plenty of posters.

stuffinmuffin

Posted:
2008-01-09 7:07 AM

GertrudeFinkbinder said @ 2008-01-08 11:18:19:

I know what it is like to be treated badly because of weight loss. When I was working a few years ago I lost almost 100 lbs. It was a hard struggle for me but I did it and was back to my proper weight. I bought pretty clothes and felt good about myself. I received compliments and motivational comments from my male coworkers, but the females turned on me! I was not flaunting myself or acting like I looked better than them, but their whole attitude toward me changed.
I did receive lots of compliments from friends and family, but not from my female coworkers. One of the women even took me aside and told me that the women were very jealous of me and "hated" me.
I was very hurt. My family was extremely supportive and my husband was so proud to be seen with me.
I had always been slim and trim all my life (but gained a lot of weight after having kids, etc.) and I knew what it was like to be a normal weight. So it wasn't like I came out of some kind of cacoon or something totally new to me.
All I can say is be supportive of anyone who makes the effort to improve themselves. rather it's to stop smoking, drinking, drugs, weightloss, whatever it may be.
It's hard work and takes a lot of mental drive to reach a goal of any kind.

I totally understand what you went through because after losing 25 pounds I went through something similar myself. I personally think the Rachael Ray Show owes women like us (and Hallie) an apology for airing a segment that in effect puts the blame on us. As I have said in another thread, it is obvious to me that Hallie did not rub her weight loss success in people's faces. She doesn't have a vain bone in her body. To make her feel responsible when it is common for women to disown their friends because of their own jealousy when they lose weight is totally unfair.

tillinghast

Posted:
2008-01-09 7:35 AM

every body get upset get over it

i love gary

Lisa

Posted:
2008-01-09 8:26 AM

tillinghast said @ 2008-01-09 07:35:20:

every body get upset get over it

Correct grammar please...

Lisa

Posted:
2008-01-09 8:27 AM

tillinghast said @ 2008-01-09 07:35:20:

every body get upset get over it

Correct grammar please...

johnandkalara

Posted:
2008-01-09 1:22 PM

Lisa said @ 2008-01-09 08:27:03:

tillinghast said @ 2008-01-09 07:35:20:

every body get upset get over it

Correct grammar please...

Correct grammar please..., Correct grammar please..., Correct grammar please..., oh parlish =oh plizz.

Hi there My name is Kalara McGary,

my hubby is SSG.John McGary Army National Guard. ''HOOAH'' who just Retired the Service last Month 20 yrs .

napoletano_guy

Posted:
2008-01-09 1:23 PM

Lurch_Papa said @ 2008-01-09 01:49:43:

We are running 80% Fibromyalgia, 20% Hallie posts. Good topics that will no doubt attract plenty of posters.

LOL!

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