Hi everyone, just wanted to say hi, and that the reason that I did this was because I hoped that it would help someone. If my story helps one person, then everything that I went through was worth it...

Hallie

I recently lost 50 pounds and my family and friends were all very excited and encouraging. I think your friends and family should support you more. You did a very difficult thing to change your life. I am very proud of you.

thanks Hallie. I submitted a message already but I know exactly how you feel.

I just watched the show and can not believe what I am hearing. First of all a mother should be supportive. I just heard her say that she did not tell you how she felt bc she did not want to hurt your feelings but losing her had to hurt worse. Also, girl those friends ARE NOT FRIENDS AT ALL!!! A true friend would have been happy for you and supportive. They should have been cheering you on not pushing you away. With friends like that you are better off without. By what I hear you were always great at making friends...find that ability deep inside of you and go make some real friends that will be there for you no matter what.

Every experience in life is a learning experience and i think that this one taught you who your real friends are!!

Hallie,

I am sorry for what you've been through. My husband has lost 125 lbs. (and still losing) and I couldn't be more proud! All of our friends are excited for him, too, as well as both families.

I will say that what you're going through is not abnormal. If your "skinny" friends lost 10 or 20 pounds they'd want you to be happy for them. Be proud of what you've accomplished. It seems to me that if your friends can't handle the "skinny" new you, then it's more than likely because they feel that can't use you anymore to be their support and they are the ones feeling guilty.

If you haven't already, seek out some support groups in your area. It's good to have people who've been in your shoes to talk to. Folks who have never had to battle their weight cannot imagine what you're feeling. Stay strong and keep up the good work. You'll be in our prayers.

I forgot to say congrats!!!! your Fiance is a lucky man!!!

Hallie, Your story is really getting me thinking. I have looked into many different things and I am thinking that GB is the best for me. I dont have any support other than my loving boyfriend. My family disowned me over a year ago because they dont approve of the way that I live so I am not afraid of losing them and I dont have many friends any way. But I have alot of physical problems, I have had 4 knee surgeries on my right knee and looking at starting on my left now and recovery is going slow and i think my weight might have alot to do with that. I have spent so much money on all the diets and club memberships. I turn to food for comfort. I have some diagnosed mental disorders (another reason my family refuses to have anything to do with me) and I turn to food when I am really depressed. and I have no will-power whatsoever. and from what I understand with gastric bipass you cant eat much, that is why I was looking into it.. can i ask around what it costs? I live in wisconsin so i know it might not be exactly the same. you can email me if you would like. it is this username at gmail.com I am just at a loss. I have given up the only thing I do now is my physical therapy and that is very solow going. if anything, could you maybe be part of a somewhat support system for me???? I just re-read this and wow do I sound pathetic. thanks for reading this. Bobbi

Hallie,

I am sorry for what you've been through. My husband has lost 125 lbs. (and still losing) and I couldn't be more proud! All of our friends are excited for him, too, as well as both families.

I will say that what you're going through is not abnormal. If your "skinny" friends lost 10 or 20 pounds they'd want you to be happy for them. Be proud of what you've accomplished. It seems to me that if your friends can't handle the "skinny" new you, then it's more than likely because they feel that can't use you anymore to be their support and they are the ones feeling guilty.

If you haven't already, seek out some support groups in your area. It's good to have people who've been in your shoes to talk to. Folks who have never had to battle their weight cannot imagine what you're feeling. Stay strong and keep up the good work. You'll be in our prayers.

I forgot to say congrats!!!! your Fiance is a lucky man!!!

Congratulations on everything. Thank you so much for telling your story. This is the first time I have ever been on a message board. I had to write because I was so confused about the reactions you received. I love when my friends or family brag about anything good that happens in their lives and so I assumed others felt the same but now I will be more aware that different people may react differently and try not to judge that. I hope you continue to revel in your own and others good fortunes. I know I will.

Hi there - the same thing happened to me. Although i am a little different. i lost about 150 lbs. i received a lot of resentment and jealousy almost from my two sisters and my friends. I got lost! i didn't know how to handle myself anymore. I got some attention when i would go out as a "big" girl. But I was NOT prepared at ALL for the amount of attention I received after i lost my weight. I began to feel resentment towards guys hitting on me. the whole mentality of "well, you wouldn't talk to me if i was still heavy!!" it was horrible. I recently stopped drinking due to alcoholism and i firmy believe that my surgery played a big part in my drinking habits. Thanks for sharing. you are not alone and this problem is a lot more common than i think most people realize.

Congrats on everything, Hallie...especially your new engagement!!! That man of yours is a true blessing, I wish you all the best. Just wanted to let you know that we all feel your pain, any transformation is a risk and it is hard, and you're not always supported the way you think you should be. Sometimes it's us, sometimes it's those around us, sometimes it's a little of each. Just know in your heart of hearts that you are a good person, you did what you thought right and everything else will fall into place. Sounds corny, I know, but that's what gets me through.
Best wishes!!

Hallie,
I first want to tell you that you presented yourself to be a AWESOME PERSON today! And then, I want to tell you that the corrections today SHOULD'VE BEEN AIMED TOWARDS the friends and family INSTEAD OF YOU.
I really noticed that you have such a sweet spirit. You were very brave in taking action & control of your life & destiny. Your decision was successful & you had a reason to be excited about your new life and the changes that it brought. You did nothing wrong. It's only natural for you to be happy, to talk about it, to even brag a bit. There's no reason for you to SURPRESS your happiness because of OTHER ARE UNHAPPY with themselves. If they don't like their weight; they should do something about it. If they like their weight, then they should be BIG ENOUGH to have a relationship with you because both parties are satisfied.
Today's topic should not have focused on why you need to regress and beg for the support of others. Yes, you built a 'tough skin' only to protect your ownself...which is also natural and a way of self preservation. You've had enough issues to deal with in your life while handling your weight issue; you did not have the strength nor energy to coddle everyone else around you. What I'm saying is-that your friends and family should've been more supportive and happy for you. MISERY LOVES COMPANY; There's always going to be people that are close by your side as long as you're both in the same situation. There's nothing wrong with rebuilding relations; however, don't regain BAGGAGE. You've made a decision to get rid of your baggage in many ways; move forward into the new and great things that are ahead. Keep your head up and feel good. Fill those empty voids with positive things that will continue to move you to higher heights. If the friendships were meant to be, they too will miss you and recognize their faults. Today's info was only a portion of the rememdy. I'm really surprised at the RR Show and the 'Professional' that assisted you today because nothing was even mentioned about what things the friends and family needed to change. It almost just placed all of the blame/change on you. There are millions of people out there who need to learn how to be a good friend, a good family member; jealousy and envy are in the hearts of many and they could've really used some tips on how to manage that. Well, America got a chance to see a wonderful person. LIFE WILL GIVE YOU TRUE FRIENDS THAT WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE THROUGH THE GOOD AND THE BAD; Keep your head up! Sincerely, Higher Heights~~

mlsfromhome said @ 2008-01-08 10:02:30:

Hi everyone, just wanted to say hi, and that the reason that I did this was because I hoped that it would help someone. If my story helps one person, then everything that I went through was worth it...

Hallie

Congratulations Hallie on your weight loss and engagement! I've never written into a show before but I was so shocked by your friends reaction I had to write. Friends are supportive not jealous. Please don't waste another second. Make new friends! You're great at it! Many alcoholics lose their friends when they stop drinking because most of their friends were drinking buddies. Maybe losing weight is the sort of the same thing. I wish you the best of luck! Also congrats on talking with your Mom! It's all about communication. Just keep talking and sharing and it'll all work out. You are an amazing person.

It's all good!

I have struggled with weight all of my life and I cannot believe what I witnessed on the Rachael show today. I'm sorry, but where is the mother in all of this? What kind of mother would not support her child? Instead she is worried about how this all affects her? Are you kidding me? A mother with that attitude is no doubt a major cause in your struggle with obesity. Shame on her. And shame on Rachael for not acknowleging that. My mother was thrilled every time I lost 5 lbs. As far as your friends go, find some new ones. My heart aches for you.

[Hallie,
-You are an awesome person and I commend you for your courageous steps to make changes in your life! Today’s tips of correction should have been aimed at the friends and family.
-You did NOTHING WRONG. Yes, you built a ‘thick skin’; that’s only natural. You have had to struggle with many issues in your life because of your weight and you’re finally satisfied with who you are. You also had a lot of hurt because of other’s reactions. That ‘thick skin’ allowed you to press forward and take care of your body & health.
-Millions of people have accomplishments everyday; they talk about it, they brag about it; Why-because they are excited. You did something that was natural!
What’s not natural, is jealousy and envy. If they were your friends before the surgery, they should be your friends after the surgery. Family members being supportive should not even be an issue; I’m lost on how a mother could separate herself from a daughter for such a reason.
-It may have been a strong shot of reality for the friends and family. They lost someone that was just like them. They lost a comfort zone. That makes you hurt & feel uncomfortable. That has nothing to do with you.
- If they were happy with their own lives and body, it would make is easier for them to be happy for you.
-If they are not is not happy with themselves or their life, they need to make the change for themselves AND NOT BLAME YOU for your change and your happiness. (Misery loves company) Everything was Okay just as long as everyone was in the circle was over weight….
-Today’s show sent the wrong message to millions of ‘life change survivors’. I was really surprised at The RR Show and that so called ‘Professional’. That was a change for others to get some tips on how to be a better friend, a better family member; how to show support to others; how to deal with issues that make you unhappy when others are happy; how to deal with unintended jealousy and envy.
-Don’t beat yourself up for anything. Move forward into the new and joyous things that life has for you. The baggage has been stripped off by default and you will find TRUE friendship not based on temporary factors.
-Replace the voids with new and productive things. Enjoy YOUR LIFE because only you can live it.
-Keep your head up and enjoy your soon-to-be husband. The knocks of opportunity have been opened for you……don’t let others deter you from your blessings.
Sincerely, ~Higher Heights