The insights given to Hallie on ways to repair the relationship were good, however the mother needs to work on her communication issues as well. If something offends you the other person has a right to know. It's not fair to the other person to secretly hold a grudge and not give them an opportunity to make it right, or to explain themselves, as maybe you misunderstood and they didn't mean to make you feel bad in the first place. I agree that Hallie needs to be aware of how her changing is affecting others around her, however in the video when her mom said Hallie told her the clothes wouldn't fit her because they "were her fat clothes" I took that to mean that she was saying her mom was too SMALL for the clothes so they wouldn't fit her. I was surprised when her mom said it hurt her feelings when Hallie told her she was too fat for the clothes. The fact that her mother took offense and didn't talk to Hallie about it is unfortunate and is also not fair to Hallie because she wasn't even aware as to why her mother was acting the way she was. It's true the only person you can change is you, so it's good the coach on the Rachael Ray Show focused on what Hallie can do, however as Rachael says it takes two to tango. Both people need to be willing to be open to communicating and making the relationship work or it will be extrememly difficult.

Now that Hallie is aware of why her friends may be acting the way they are towards her she might be able to mend the friendships for the long term, or chances are they might still be jealous of the fact that she lost weight and it might be a constant reminder to them that they could do something about their own weight if they wanted to. They may continue to reject Hallie despite her efforts of being nice or working to mend the relationship with them. If her previous friends have low self esteem it might be easier to find a new circle of friends that are more accepting of the new Hallie and don't feel threatened by the fact, or bad about themselves, that she lost weight and they haven't. It's always worth a try to reach out and mend the friendship, I'm just saying if her friends have their own issues and aren't willing to accept her she could be in for a frustrating experience.

Hallie needs to get new friends. Her old friends should have stuck by her and supported her all the way. She was good enough to be a friend when she was fat. Now those old friends are only showing jealousy. Hallie had every right to expect support, encouragement, and kudos from them. I say she should dump them all. I admire the courage she demonstrated. Couldn't they see she needed them to stay on her side? Hallie's so called friends are the ones who need counseling. Not Hallie. Good luck, Gal. I'm on your side.

Hallie needs to get new friends. Her old friends should have stuck by her and supported her all the way. She was good enough to be a friend when she was fat. Now those old friends are only showing jealousy. Hallie had every right to expect support, encouragement, and kudos from them. I say she should dump them all. I admire the courage she demonstrated. Couldn't they see she needed them to stay on her side? Hallie's so called friends are the ones who need counseling. Not Hallie. Good luck, Gal. I'm on your side.

Hallie needs to get new friends. Her old friends should have stuck by her and supported her all the way. She was good enough to be a friend when she was fat. Now those old friends are only showing jealousy. Hallie had every right to expect support, encouragement, and kudos from them. I say she should dump them all. I admire the courage she demonstrated. Couldn't they see she needed them to stay on her side? Hallie's so called friends are the ones who need counseling. Not Hallie. Good luck, Gal. I'm on your side.

I agree with the OP. A relationship is a two person arrangement. In fact, I think of relationships as contracts. Each person has a responsibility to the other. If as her mother says, Hallie offended her, she has a communicate her feelings to Hallie, rather than just ending the relationship, or cutting her off. Same goes for her friends, if somehow they were offended by her words or behavior, it's their responsibility to speak up.

Hallie isn't a mind reader and doesn't deserve the lack of commitment that her mother and her friends showed her. No one can make changes in their behavior if the people in their lives don't communicate with them. In my opinion, if her friends were good and true friends, they would have worked to repair the relationship, and communicated their feelings rather than just bailing out on their friend.

Hallie, I commend you for your courageous decision to make a drastic change in your life, that is sure to improve your health and the quality of your life, going forward. My recommendation to you regarding your relationships, though, is this: when you feel your friends pulling away, ask them why, try talking to them. But if they are unwilling to give you reasons for their behavior, don't keep pursuing those relationships.

I can tell you from experience, that you can't fix what you don't know is broken. If they are unable or unwilling to articulate what it is they want from you, or what you've done to upset or offend them, they cripple your ability to improve the relationship. It's my experience that someone who behaves this way isn't invested enough in the relationship, and it's my opinion, that you're better off without them.

Mothers who sit back and allow their offspring to grow morbidly obese must be held accountable, I agree.

'Tis a shame that Social Services did not intervene at at early age.

Hallie!!!!!!

Hey you, see if you remember this,

"Thank you for calling Road Runner Technical Support"

Muahahah!

I used to work with you at Stream/Trinity Mills in Carrollton TX. My name is Justin Westerman and we used to sit out back with Jacklyn Murphy @ Intraday and Daniel Pearson, I used to call you Halle alot and you'd get mad at me. Remember big mike and his wife Bernadette, what about Ex Stream? . Those were good times and you were always fun to hang with out back, I eventually quit smoking and due to contract changes and schedule changes we fell further apart and eventually lost contact when the H&R Tax Cut contract ended. I am very proud of you and regardless of who you feel was driven away by your ambition, To accomplish a personal goal in your life and to have someone criticize it, is not someone who should considered a friend.

And I am going to be brutally honest and say a mother of any kind should be happy for their daughter or son to have a goal in life and succeed with it. No mother should scrutinize you for moving forward because you only have one chance on this planet to make your stand, to say "I was here"! Nobody, not even a family member should hold you back from your dreams or in this case your health. They should be taking notes because any mother or father should want to remain as healthy as possible to preserve their life on this planet for as long as possible to share that time with their loved ones and that means you babe.

These days companies make is difficult to afford life, medical bills, insurance and not to mention credit debt can be a real downer. But love, love is a wealth that companies can't provide but you can and thats what makes you stand out. So I commend you for taking a stand and getting control of something and managing it on your own when nobody else did it for you, that is something you can be proud of. And you don't have to take lip from anybody else because you're not trying to please them, you're trying to please you and thats all that counts.

And last but not least Montgomery Gentry said it best, be proud and play it loud.


With love, Justin.