I don't mean to be abrasive or by any means a non-advocate of frazzled mothers - but I did have a problem with the way this subject was handled especially in regards to the "super-frazzled" mother featured on the show today.

Being 2008, where traditional norms and values are constantly in question (and rightly so) I reject the idea that a mother being "super frazzled" is her problem alone. The way the mother was presented today and the way her problem ws handled seemed to say that her lifestyle was wrong and the solution was hers alone to discover. Numerous times her problem was universalized and called the "Mom's problem" when really it is a "Family" or "Household" problem. The husband sat in the audience and watched - and when he did participate he almost scoffed at the idea of making his own breakfast in the morning or helping her out at all. His "wants" were referred to and it was the wife's problem alone to solve to make sure those wants were fulfilled. SHE had to make time for HIM.

Now, I can give the show and the family the benefit of the doubt and assume the finances had been considered, and the father's particiption in home life was projected but made imposisible for whatever reason. I still would appreciate as a someday-will-be-mom that a wife's "frazzled-ness" would be presented as a team effort - that both the man and woman would sit together and make a plan together.

The saddest part of the presentation was that the solution was for her to delay school. Again, the hopes and dreams of a young woman were destroyed by traditionalisms and out-dated gender roles. Was that really the only solution to the family's problem? I reject the lack of creativity and close-to misogyny in this portion of the program. It is unfortunate cases like this the perpetuate the unhappy and unfulfilled lives of women. Although the kitchen has been inflexibly reserved for women I reclaim cooking and the enjoyment of food with Rachael, but not at the expense of my freedom.

Freedom? Whats that?

Well, then I feel bad that her husband is a jerk and not willing to help. That's ridulous!! I didn't watch the entire show so I didn't realize that he's NOT supportive. That in initself is a whole other issue. And no one should be told to stop going to school or whatever the advice of the "expert" gave. She needs to get organized (belive it or not for those who have replied to my message with less kids than me, it IS possible and without too much to sacrifice) and give her husband some chores of his own. If he still is not willing then maybe they need to seek some marriage counseling. I shocked that he feels that way about helping out! My husband is my #1 fan. He really makes my life with kids a lot easier then some I guess. I am lucky

LOL

I was just having a discussion with my husband last night about my "responsibilities" and his reply was: I though you were gonna call your mom to help. So after reading little ms.marthafemsting I am gonna fwd this to him and tonight give him a pice of my mind. Thanks! I have to remember it's the "family's" malfunction, and not "mine" alone. THanks, THANKS, THANKS!

Princess

LOL

I was just having a discussion with my husband last night about my "responsibilities" and his reply was: I though you were gonna call your mom to help. So after reading little ms.marthafemsting I am gonna fwd this to him and tonight give him a pice of my mind. Thanks! I have to remember it's the "family's" malfunction, and not "mine" alone. THanks, THANKS, THANKS!

Princess

Princess: tell your husband now day, Husband help there wife . I know that I have one little one she 4 and hand full but i still have help from my husband, he vacuum , take out the garbage to the dumpester, steam cleaning the floor . he work 12 hr shift when he got his day off he still able to help me in the house and outdoor. I use to do everything myself until my Mother in law said to me that i can't do everything yourself and she right.

I strongly agree that this is a FAMILY or HOUSEHOLD problem. That said, look closely at what we saw on air . . . esp. regarding Rania's husband. What do we really know?? Yes, he made a comment around not functioning in the morning or not being a morning person, but he never SAID he doesn't help at all. I think it is the life coach who was putting too much emphasis on Rania. Perhaps the husband is not helpful enough, and actually, it's very likely. BUT we really don't KNOW that for sure, so let's be careful what blame we assign him.

I would like to address the mom who was on the show today. My heart goes out to her. I understand what "frazzled" feels like. I am the stay-at-home mom of a 9 year old boy and a 6 years old girl. I am also pregnant (first trimester) with my third due in October. I also homeschool both of my children. Grades 4th and Kindergarten.

I have to say that I had a little bit of a problem with the way the show went today. I love that fact that they were willing to tackle this problem but I DO NOT agree with the advice that was given.

I have a sister-in-law who is now teaching for the first time this year after going to school while starting her family for the past six years. They have four boys ages 9,6,3,11mo. Plus they are gaurdians of two teenage girls. So I know what this mom is trying to tackle CAN BE DONE! This is not saying that it doesn't come with it's share of hardships, however, with teamwork anything is possible.

In our family my husband works two jobs so that I can stay home and homeschool our children. It takes a little sacrifice. To the mom on today's show I would like to say...I do belive that you do need to prioritize but, without suppport and help from your husband you will be unable to do the things you would like to.

Some of the things we do are...1. We bathe the kids at night before bed. You will not believe how much stress can be relieved by just changing the time of bath time. 2. Our kids clean up after themselves. I know our children are older but, my kids started cleaning up their own messing at a young age. 3. We really work together on the "chores". If he needs a lunch, he makes it. If he needs his work clothes washed and he knows that is just "one more thing" for me...he will wash them. My husband is really, really great. He is one of those "if it needs to be done, just do it" kind of men!

I truely believe that you can continue to do the things you are doing just by moving things around a little and by getting some extra help from the hubby!

Feel free to contact me if ever you need to talk!

Kimberly

What a sorry story! Why does everyone need to take a morning shower?? Do the kids in the evening, read them a story, and pop them into bed. Have your husband pack his own lunch!

Hey everyone: it's Rania (the mom from today's show) again. Thank you all for your advice. I have taken a lot of it in and will try out some of the ideas that were given.
About my husband, he really does help out a lot and a lot more than was shown on the television. The main thing I needed help with was managing my time during the day (9-5) when my husband is at work. As a paralegal, I have to work during normal business hours to speak with clients, etc. and my husband is not home. I was hoping for advice on how I could manage my day and spend time with my children.
I have gotten a babysitter to help out with the kids since the show taped and now actually get work done between 9-3 and still get to spend time with the kids at 3. My husband has also taken on a lot more of the load. He helps with laundry and dishes and even dinner and will even watch the kids if I need to go meet up with some friends at night.
Thank you all again and I look forward to additional suggestions

What a sorry story. Why does everyone have to take a morning shower? Do the kids in the evening, read them a book, and pop them into bed. Have your husband pack his own lunch!

Hey everyone: it's Rania (the mom from today's show) again. Thank you all for your advice. I have taken a lot of it in and will try out some of the ideas that were given.
About my husband, he really does help out a lot and a lot more than was shown on the television. The main thing I needed help with was managing my time during the day (9-5) when my husband is at work. As a paralegal, I have to work during normal business hours to speak with clients, etc. and my husband is not home. I was hoping for advice on how I could manage my day and spend time with my children. We only had 10 minutes on the show, so that really wasn't enough time to go into great detail about our situation.
I have gotten a babysitter to help out with the kids since the show taped and now actually get work done between 9-3 and still get to spend time with the kids at 3. My husband has also taken on a lot more of the load. He helps with laundry and dishes and even dinner and will even watch the kids if I need to go meet up with some friends at night.
It took some time, but I realized that I cannot do it on my own (I am not supermom) and I shouldn't try to, because it will make me crazy.
Thank you all again and I look forward to additional suggestions.

Hey everyone: it's Rania (the mom from today's show) again. Thank you all for your advice. I have taken a lot of it in and will try out some of the ideas that were given.
About my husband, he really does help out a lot and a lot more than was shown on the television. The main thing I needed help with was managing my time during the day (9-5) when my husband is at work. As a paralegal, I have to work during normal business hours to speak with clients, etc. and my husband is not home. I was hoping for advice on how I could manage my day and spend time with my children. We only had 10 minutes on the show, so that really wasn't enough time to go into great detail about our situation.
I have gotten a babysitter to help out with the kids since the show taped and now actually get work done between 9-3 and still get to spend time with the kids at 3. My husband has also taken on a lot more of the load. He helps with laundry and dishes and even dinner and will even watch the kids if I need to go meet up with some friends at night.
It took some time, but I realized that I cannot do it on my own (I am not supermom) and I shouldn't try to, because it will make me crazy.
Thank you all again and I look forward to additional suggestions.

I would like to address the mom who was on the show today. My heart goes out to her. I understand what "frazzled" feels like. I am the stay-at-home mom of a 9 year old boy and a 6 years old girl. I am also pregnant (first trimester) with my third due in October. I also homeschool both of my children. Grades 4th and Kindergarten.

I have to say that I had a little bit of a problem with the way the show went today. I love that fact that they were willing to tackle this problem but I DO NOT agree with the advice that was given.

I have a sister-in-law who is now teaching for the first time this year after going to school while starting her family for the past six years. They have four boys ages 9,6,3,11mo. Plus they are gaurdians of two teenage girls. So I know what this mom is trying to tackle CAN BE DONE! This is not saying that it doesn't come with it's share of hardships, however, with teamwork anything is possible.

In our family my husband works two jobs so that I can stay home and homeschool our children. It takes a little sacrifice. To the mom on today's show I would like to say...I do belive that you do need to prioritize but, without suppport and help from your husband you will be unable to do the things you would like to.

Some of the things we do are...1. We bathe the kids at night before bed. You will not believe how much stress can be relieved by just changing the time of bath time. 2. Our kids clean up after themselves. I know our children are older but, my kids started cleaning up their own messing at a young age. 3. We really work together on the "chores". If he needs a lunch, he makes it. If he needs his work clothes washed and he knows that is just "one more thing" for me...he will wash them. My husband is really, really great. He is one of those "if it needs to be done, just do it" kind of men!

I truely believe that you can continue to do the things you are doing just by moving things around a little and by getting some extra help from the hubby!

Feel free to contact me if ever you need to talk!

Kimberly

I would like to address the mom who was on the show today. My heart goes out to her. I understand what "frazzled" feels like. I am the stay-at-home mom of a 9 year old boy and a 6 years old girl. I am also pregnant (first trimester) with my third due in October. I also homeschool both of my children. Grades 4th and Kindergarten.

I have to say that I had a little bit of a problem with the way the show went today. I love that fact that they were willing to tackle this problem but I DO NOT agree with the advice that was given.

I have a sister-in-law who is now teaching for the first time this year after going to school while starting her family for the past six years. They have four boys ages 9,6,3,11mo. Plus they are gaurdians of two teenage girls. So I know what this mom is trying to tackle CAN BE DONE! This is not saying that it doesn't come with it's share of hardships, however, with teamwork anything is possible.

In our family my husband works two jobs so that I can stay home and homeschool our children. It takes a little sacrifice. To the mom on today's show I would like to say...I do belive that you do need to prioritize but, without suppport and help from your husband you will be unable to do the things you would like to.

Some of the things we do are...1. We bathe the kids at night before bed. You will not believe how much stress can be relieved by just changing the time of bath time. 2. Our kids clean up after themselves. I know our children are older but, my kids started cleaning up their own messing at a young age. 3. We really work together on the "chores". If he needs a lunch, he makes it. If he needs his work clothes washed and he knows that is just "one more thing" for me...he will wash them. My husband is really, really great. He is one of those "if it needs to be done, just do it" kind of men!

I truely believe that you can continue to do the things you are doing just by moving things around a little and by getting some extra help from the hubby!

Feel free to contact me if ever you need to talk!

Kimberly

we was watching it this morning and i was talking with my husband about that she didn't ask her husband for help in the house or give her hand.

to every Mom out there I don't care if you have one or dozen please don't feel ashamed to ask your husband to give a hand with the house work . ask him if they can watch the kids for an hour so you can have time to your self take shower or bubble bath.

Hi Rania,

i was watching the show today I feel so sorry for you. and you need to take time few minutes to yourself. when your husband is home ask him if he can give you hand and i know he feel sorry for you because you try to do everything by yourself. when your husband is at work you try to make time from 9 to 5 and when he is home go sit down with him talk to him , you about to get up ask him if he can help you in the kitchen . who know maybe he will give you hand you will be surprise .

Hey everyone: it's Rania (the mom from today's show) again. Thank you all for your advice. I have taken a lot of it in and will try out some of the ideas that were given.
About my husband, he really does help out a lot and a lot more than was shown on the television. The main thing I needed help with was managing my time during the day (9-5) when my husband is at work. As a paralegal, I have to work during normal business hours to speak with clients, etc. and my husband is not home. I was hoping for advice on how I could manage my day and spend time with my children. We only had 10 minutes on the show, so that really wasn't enough time to go into great detail about our situation.
I have gotten a babysitter to help out with the kids since the show taped and now actually get work done between 9-3 and still get to spend time with the kids at 3. My husband has also taken on a lot more of the load. He helps with laundry and dishes and even dinner and will even watch the kids if I need to go meet up with some friends at night.
It took some time, but I realized that I cannot do it on my own (I am not supermom) and I shouldn't try to, because it will make me crazy.
Thank you all again and I look forward to additional suggestions.

oopsie.. something is wrong with the link. it's posting comments over and over. HELP

oopsie.. something is wrong with the link. it's posting comments over and over. HELP

Hey,, I think i wasn't too clear either. My husband "helps" but sometimes "I" need to know when to ask and most importantly.. LET help come to me. HELP DOSENT COME OUR WAY OFTEN. I need to take less on. And just let it be. The house wont explode if the dishes are not done.

Ladies. Thanks.. I feel better venting.

P

What a sorry story. Why does everyone need to take a morning shower? Do the kids in the evening, read them a book, and pop them into bed. Have your husband pack his own lunch!

Hey,, I think i wasn't too clear either. My husband "helps" but sometimes "I" need to know when to ask and most importantly.. LET help come to me. HELP DOSENT COME OUR WAY OFTEN. I need to take less on. And just let it be. The house wont explode if the dishes are not done.

Ladies. Thanks.. I feel better venting.

P