Rachael Ray: Rachael's Daytime Talkshow
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bottle breaking
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momof7boys
Posted:
2008-04-24 5:40 PM
2008-04-24 5:40 PM
Leah, I'm sorry to be so harsh, but you need to get a backbone when it comes to your child. I was 21 when I had my first child. I didn't have a support system from my family so I took my pediatricians advice. I introduced the sippy cup at 6 months old. He didn't take to it at first. It took only a short time. Don't give the sippy when it's time to eat. Do it in-between meals as a snack. When he reached 1 year, I took the bottle away completely. He didn't miss it. Out of sight, out of mind. I am now a 39 year old mom of seven boys, ages 15, 10, 9, 7, 5, 4, and 5 1/2 months. I have done the same thing with all of them. I am introducing the sippy to my 5 1/2 month old as of right now and I have to say he's doing pretty good so far. I'm doing it in-between feedings so he'll be more accepting of it. As time goes on and he gets used to it, I'll give him the sippy for feedings. As with my older boys, he will probably still need a bottle to go to sleep. But when he turns a year, it's going bye-bye. They threw a fit for about a minute, but it was short lived. You're not killing her. She will be alright. If she wants a drink bad enough she take the sippy. If you would have started sooner, you wouldn't have this problem today. Kids are really smart. If they cry for 10 min. and you give in, they will do it the next time for just as long. Gradually, you need to do longer and longer. Pretty soon she'll give up herself and go about her business because she'll know you're not going to give in. You just have to suck it up and tune it out. Once you stop giving in, your daughter will stop throwing tantrums to get her way.
kkdevy
Posted:
2008-04-24 6:57 PM
2008-04-24 6:57 PM
momof7boys said @ 2008-04-24 17:40:42:Leah, I'm sorry to be so harsh, but you need to get a backbone when it comes to your child. I was 21 when I had my first child. I didn't have a support system from my family so I took my pediatricians advice. I introduced the sippy cup at 6 months old. He didn't take to it at first. It took only a short time. Don't give the sippy when it's time to eat. Do it in-between meals as a snack. When he reached 1 year, I took the bottle away completely. He didn't miss it. Out of sight, out of mind. I am now a 39 year old mom of seven boys, ages 15, 10, 9, 7, 5, 4, and 5 1/2 months. I have done the same thing with all of them. I am introducing the sippy to my 5 1/2 month old as of right now and I have to say he's doing pretty good so far. I'm doing it in-between feedings so he'll be more accepting of it. As time goes on and he gets used to it, I'll give him the sippy for feedings. As with my older boys, he will probably still need a bottle to go to sleep. But when he turns a year, it's going bye-bye. They threw a fit for about a minute, but it was short lived. You're not killing her. She will be alright. If she wants a drink bad enough she take the sippy. If you would have started sooner, you wouldn't have this problem today. Kids are really smart. If they cry for 10 min. and you give in, they will do it the next time for just as long. Gradually, you need to do longer and longer. Pretty soon she'll give up herself and go about her business because she'll know you're not going to give in. You just have to suck it up and tune it out. Once you stop giving in, your daughter will stop throwing tantrums to get her way.
kkdevy
Posted:
2008-04-24 7:11 PM
2008-04-24 7:11 PM
CELEBRATE THE SMALL STUFF!!! On the show she took 2 bottles less! Tell her that and be proud so she can be proud. Challenge her to 2 less the next night. Make it a game and fun some how. Taking the milk away is an accomplishment,so take tiny steps from there. Nothing is wrong with a reward for one bottle the whole night and then none! Then you can work on keeping her in her OWN bed. Give the girl good feelings to start from and she won't stop growing and learning or at least not fighting so much.
kacysgranny
Posted:
2008-04-25 1:14 AM
2008-04-25 1:14 AM
You ladies really need to lay off the "you need to get a back bone stuff" Ithink that just because something worked for one does not mean it will work for the other. And as far as that little girl going to be obese you must be out of your mind. My daughter was off the bottle at 8 months old she threw it out the window and said bye bye baba at that time she weighed right about 25 pounds she was a big girl. She is now 21 almost 22 and maybe weighs 125 soaking wet and that is even after having her own child. So please dont make such comments its really not very nice.
Patty Lawrence
Mazy67
Posted:
2008-04-25 1:17 PM
2008-04-25 1:17 PM
kacysgranny said @ 2008-04-25 01:14:27:You ladies really need to lay off the "you need to get a back bone stuff" Ithink that just because something worked for one does not mean it will work for the other. And as far as that little girl going to be obese you must be out of your mind. My daughter was off the bottle at 8 months old she threw it out the window and said bye bye baba at that time she weighed right about 25 pounds she was a big girl. She is now 21 almost 22 and maybe weighs 125 soaking wet and that is even after having her own child. So please dont make such comments its really not very nice.
Take a look around at any elementary school and look at the obese children. Even one child over weight is sad. Your child was lucky. Not all kids outgrow extra weight. Why not give them a good healthy start. That many bottles can't be good for her teeth either. Just the way the teeth grow in can be very bucked and require braces later.
Sophia has her parents trained very well. I can't see any changes in the near future. Leah doesn't want to change bad enough. Dad goes with the flow.
Sophia has her parents trained very well. I can't see any changes in the near future. Leah doesn't want to change bad enough. Dad goes with the flow.
kacysgranny
Posted:
2008-04-25 1:54 PM
2008-04-25 1:54 PM
You may be right in the fact that my daughter was lucky but I think that people should let her deal with it the weigh she sees fit not the way we all think she should handle the situation. Not all kids are the same and if Leah and her husband cant or wont wean their daughter off the bottle that is their business not mine or yours.
Patty Lawrence
christijean
Posted:
2008-04-25 2:08 PM
2008-04-25 2:08 PM
Leah,
The problem is that the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be to take away. Try taking her to the store and buying her a "big girl" sippy cup. Throw away those bottles. Good luck!
The problem is that the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be to take away. Try taking her to the store and buying her a "big girl" sippy cup. Throw away those bottles. Good luck!
thrailkill
Posted:
2008-04-25 4:02 PM
2008-04-25 4:02 PM
When the daughter wakes up, get her up and take her to the kitchen and tell her she has to fill up her own bottle, be sure she gets it out of the refrigerator, pulls up a chair to counter, then tell her the bottle is dirty and she has to wash it--fix some dishwater for her and give her the bottle brush, keep telling her it isn't clean enough to put fresh milk in, and have her brush it again--the have her rinse it, then clean the nipple--get the picture, when she has to do all this work herself, she is going to think this isn't too much fun every time I want a bottle. Then have her fill her own bottle with milk--have just enough in the carton to fill it half full, and say that is all the milk there is. Have her put the lid/nipple on. Then make sure she throws away the milk carton, puts away the chair, etc. Then tell her if she wakes up again during the night she will have to drink water--then have her do the same with the empty milk bottle--wash it, etc. Then have her fill it up. This way she will get the idea that it is not much fun doing all the work and she just might get over her demanding the water or milk. At 3 1/2 years old, she should be old enough to do these simple chores and in the middle of the night she will soon find out that it isn't Mother's responsibility to have to bring her a bottle at her first outcry.
Lorey_61
Posted:
2008-04-25 4:23 PM
2008-04-25 4:23 PM
kkdevy said @ 2008-04-24 19:11:23:CELEBRATE THE SMALL STUFF!!! On the show she took 2 bottles less! Tell her that and be proud so she can be proud. Challenge her to 2 less the next night. Make it a game and fun some how. Taking the milk away is an accomplishment,so take tiny steps from there. Nothing is wrong with a reward for one bottle the whole night and then none! Then you can work on keeping her in her OWN bed. Give the girl good feelings to start from and she won't stop growing and learning or at least not fighting so much.
Leah, Your a good mother. I know you and your hubby have a tough road ahead. I agree that you should be proud that there were two bottles less your first night. Keep trying one less a night or everyother nite. Also try intoducing a sippy cup durring the day like "big girls" use. One thing you didn't say durring your interview with Rachel was will she be going to pre-school or home schooled ? You have to remember that she mite not be able to use a bottle durring the day like at home and as well know children can be cruel
VickiB39
Posted:
2008-04-25 5:39 PM
2008-04-25 5:39 PM
I am writing in response to the person who said "they will get out of your bed and give up the bottle when THEY (the child) want to". Give me a break!!! She is a child. As a parent, you have to make some decisions and your child may not like them. But you are the parent, the adult!!! Would you let your child eat only candy just because they cried? I am a mother of three ages 11, 9, and 7 and we had many tears, but we all sleep through the night.
bcole714
Posted:
2008-04-25 5:54 PM
2008-04-25 5:54 PM
Maybe the Super Nanny show would like to do a celeb. addition. Jo seems to do wonders for families who have gone through similar struggles.
If you are a reader and are open to a new method of parenting, I would recommend the Baby Wise series of books. I have two boys (2 1/2 and 3 months). They both started sleeping through the night in their own bed between two and three months. The book really emphasizes that your child needs to learn how to self soothe on their own. Currently, your child relies on bottles and the comfort of your bed.
Good luck!
If you are a reader and are open to a new method of parenting, I would recommend the Baby Wise series of books. I have two boys (2 1/2 and 3 months). They both started sleeping through the night in their own bed between two and three months. The book really emphasizes that your child needs to learn how to self soothe on their own. Currently, your child relies on bottles and the comfort of your bed.
Good luck!
Shelene17
Posted:
2008-04-25 7:00 PM
2008-04-25 7:00 PM
Hi Leah. I am the momma of 4 wonderful, not perfect, little ones. The truth is that raising children remains the hardest, most rewarding, and most often least appreciated job there ever will be. There are many reasons I would tell you to get your daughter off the bottles. The biggest one being that the best thing that you can instill in your children is a sense of independence. It is the one thing that will help our kids throughout their lives. As parents, we all want our children to grow up and be strong, secure, independent human beings. And
this is even more important for our little girls.
And talk to her about what is going on. They really are wicked smart little creatures. You can appeal to her desire to become a "big girl". Or whatever works for her. And by allowing her to be a part of the process as in having her help get the bottles together to donate them to maybe a local shelter for women and children or maybe a local church that reaches out to families in need she may be able to accept the idea a little better. This will not only help her learn independence but also begin to show her how to be a compassionate human being by helping others. And yes, you can start this at 3 1/2.
You can then take her to your local store to purchase the more appropriate sippy cup. This can be an empowering thing for a child. When they feel like it is their choice they are much more likely to "get into it". The key is to make her think it is her idea to do this. Parenting is like a show with smoke and mirrors...you just have to learn to be a better magician. You also have to prepare yourself mentally for this event. It is kind of like getting ready for a big race...you have to get your mind ready to deal with whatever might come from what it is you are going to do and be ready and able to deal with the consequences. Parenting is definitely a marathon not a sprint. No one ever told me parenting was going to be so cerebral!!
Just remember that kids are resilient. When what you are doing is for the betterment of your child it is always the right thing...it just might not be the easiest . And on a personal note, you have a great sense of humor so use that to your advantage. Make things more light hearted and funny. I tend to do that with my kids and sometimes (if I said always I would be in denial!!) it makes the situation go a little easier. You obviously love your daughter and are a wonderful mother...anyone who would suffer through that many nights of broken sleep is a wonderful mother. I am amazed you are still able to function.
I wish you the very best and offer you all the "momma support" I can send your way!!!
Shelene
this is even more important for our little girls.
And talk to her about what is going on. They really are wicked smart little creatures. You can appeal to her desire to become a "big girl". Or whatever works for her. And by allowing her to be a part of the process as in having her help get the bottles together to donate them to maybe a local shelter for women and children or maybe a local church that reaches out to families in need she may be able to accept the idea a little better. This will not only help her learn independence but also begin to show her how to be a compassionate human being by helping others. And yes, you can start this at 3 1/2.
You can then take her to your local store to purchase the more appropriate sippy cup. This can be an empowering thing for a child. When they feel like it is their choice they are much more likely to "get into it". The key is to make her think it is her idea to do this. Parenting is like a show with smoke and mirrors...you just have to learn to be a better magician. You also have to prepare yourself mentally for this event. It is kind of like getting ready for a big race...you have to get your mind ready to deal with whatever might come from what it is you are going to do and be ready and able to deal with the consequences. Parenting is definitely a marathon not a sprint. No one ever told me parenting was going to be so cerebral!!
Just remember that kids are resilient. When what you are doing is for the betterment of your child it is always the right thing...it just might not be the easiest . And on a personal note, you have a great sense of humor so use that to your advantage. Make things more light hearted and funny. I tend to do that with my kids and sometimes (if I said always I would be in denial!!) it makes the situation go a little easier. You obviously love your daughter and are a wonderful mother...anyone who would suffer through that many nights of broken sleep is a wonderful mother. I am amazed you are still able to function.
I wish you the very best and offer you all the "momma support" I can send your way!!!
Shelene
chgogirl
Posted:
2008-04-25 9:53 PM
2008-04-25 9:53 PM
Having watched the show the only advice I can offer as a mother of 2 boys 17 months apart in age is you need to toughen up. Your daughter's tantrums over having to have a bottle and still being in diapers is way beyond where it should be. I hate to say this but there is no PARENT in this household. Why is this child sleeping between her parents as if there is only 1 bedroom in this house. You have a long road ahead of you sorry to say. But for what it's worth try this: When my son's were 14 months (and only taking 1 bottle at bedtime)(they were on the sippy cup by 7 months) we carried the bottle over to the trash can and I had my Son toss it into the trash can and we both said "bye bye bottle" and that night when my son wanted his bottle I said "we threw it away remember and there is no more bottle" I then gave him a very small sip of water from his sippy cup and let him whimper himself to sleep. After 2 nights my son never asked for his bottle again. No one said parenting was easy, sometimes you just have to grow up and do it.
chgogirl
heather51002
Posted:
2008-04-25 10:29 PM
2008-04-25 10:29 PM
Instead of trying to do another type of cup to get attached to just Take her out and let her buy a fancy princess cup for the little princess. That will make her feel better about the bottles as she gets rid of them for another baby that she might know. Getting her on a cup would take less time in the end and less stree fo rthe parents becasue you don't want her going through the night waking up with the crying for the water sippy cup. There are going to be tears and it is not easy but parenting is not easy. We are there to be the support system and guide them to be independent strong women. If the baba goes there will be less wet nights and she will be potty trained be four if she has you to help her through the security of the baba. If she gets older and sees how she gets her way and knows how to make you do whatever she wants that will lead to the trouble you don't want you princess getting into as a young woman.
gal2b
Posted:
2008-04-26 7:35 PM
2008-04-26 7:35 PM
I can't believe how the parents have let go and let the child run the house. Leah should also recognize that by giving into her daughter every time she cries only makes the situation worse. As parents, we don't want to see our children upset but we should also realize the long term effect of the issue and think rationally. We saw on the show the negative health effects. That would be enough for me. What kind of message does this send the child? "If I cry, I get my way"....this is only trouble especially when the kid gets older. What happens when its time to start school and other kids drink out of regular cups? Will she pack her bottles in her backpack? Just wait until she becomes a teenager. That should be fun. We can love our childen with all our hearts, but do what is best for them; not just take the easy way out. Tough love is hard to do....but sometimes the best option. -Mother of 2 teenage girls.
PinkiFlamingo
Posted:
2008-04-26 7:52 PM
2008-04-26 7:52 PM
This actually worked on me when i was 2.5 or 3.5 years old - i can't remember but i remember it upset me greatly that THE EASTER BUNNY actually took my baby bottles from me!!! The Easter Bunny left new "big girl" cup with my Easter candy. I was upset and i remember searching the entire house for my bottles!!! But the Easter Bunny really took them sooo it was no going back at that point and no giving in since they weren't at the house.
Maybe the Big Girl Fairy could come one night and take the bottles and leave a very special surprise!
GOOD LUCK! and after a few days she will be OK just don't give in - you can do it!!!
I have forgiven my parents (and the Easter Bunny!)
Maybe the Big Girl Fairy could come one night and take the bottles and leave a very special surprise!
GOOD LUCK! and after a few days she will be OK just don't give in - you can do it!!!
I have forgiven my parents (and the Easter Bunny!)
Sabmik
Posted:
2008-04-26 8:23 PM
2008-04-26 8:23 PM
i completely agree that you need to get a backbone! as long as you keep giving in she will keel throwing tantrums and then getting what she wants. you are teaching her to behave this way! THROW THE BOTTLES out an then you dont have them to give to her.
msmdhernandez
Posted:
2008-04-28 11:50 AM
2008-04-28 11:50 AM
HI LEAH. I'M A MOTHER OF A 3 YR OLD LIL BOY. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO WAT I DID. YOU CAN TELL YOUR DAUGHTER TO WATCH YOU THROW AWAY ONE BOTTLE AT A TIME IN FRONT OF HER AND TELL HER SHE IS A BIG GIRL NOW!!! MY LIL BOY EVEN THREW SOME AWAY...AFTER THAT WE CLAPPED AND I INTRODUCED HIM TO THE SIPPY CUP. BUT THE ONLY THING HE WAS 11 MONTHS AT THE TIME.. I HOPE YOU CAN TAKE HER OFF BEFORE SHE LOOSES HER TEETH..BECAUSE MY LIL NIECE DID AT AGE 4 SHE LOST HER 2 FRONT TEETH BECAUSE OF THE BOTTLE. I HOPE YOU SUCCEED!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
d_golding
Posted:
2008-04-28 12:55 PM
2008-04-28 12:55 PM
Leah you have gotten some good advice from other people. They really are right about you being the parent, you need to take charge. You are doing your daughter no favors by giving in every time she cries, and as long as she isn't bleeding or broken she will be fine.
You might have her throw away one bottle a day and tell her when the bottles are all gone she will be a big girl and doesn't need them anymore. As others have said make her an active part of the solution.
Sleeping in her own bed is also an excellent idea. We had that problem. For a week I got very little sleep because everytime our son joined us in bed I would take him back. I put him in bed and covered him and told him good night. It several times each night but he got the idea. I finally got a decent nights sleep and became a much better mother because I finally got some sleep.
You might have her throw away one bottle a day and tell her when the bottles are all gone she will be a big girl and doesn't need them anymore. As others have said make her an active part of the solution.
Sleeping in her own bed is also an excellent idea. We had that problem. For a week I got very little sleep because everytime our son joined us in bed I would take him back. I put him in bed and covered him and told him good night. It several times each night but he got the idea. I finally got a decent nights sleep and became a much better mother because I finally got some sleep.
Texas_Cowgirl
Posted:
2008-04-29 9:13 AM
2008-04-29 9:13 AM
Is any one else concerned that Leah is raising a spoiled child? If she doesn't start setting boundaries, little Sophia is going to become a holy terror that thinks she is entitled to whatever she wants whenever she wants. Let's look at other celebrities that obviously got whatever they wanted (Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears).
If Leah doesn't start being the PARENT to this child, Sophia is not going to learn love from her mom; she's going to learn that she can do whatever she pleases. The best way to love children is to teach them how to cope without you. If Leah doesn't allow Sophia to have disappointment, how is Sophia going to respond later when there is disappointment in her life? Leah thinks she's protecting and loving her child, but in my opinion, she is setting up her child for HUGE trouble later.
If Leah doesn't start being the PARENT to this child, Sophia is not going to learn love from her mom; she's going to learn that she can do whatever she pleases. The best way to love children is to teach them how to cope without you. If Leah doesn't allow Sophia to have disappointment, how is Sophia going to respond later when there is disappointment in her life? Leah thinks she's protecting and loving her child, but in my opinion, she is setting up her child for HUGE trouble later.
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