Leah, yes I know he is the dog whisperer (and I love him for it) but his idea of sending out the message you want to send without words is good. Being the pack leader, setting the tone of authority to listen to, and of being in charge of your family and keeping them in line for everyone's best interest works. I am no perfect parent and no pack leader all the time, I am just trying to survive and do the right thing but with some of these habits you just have to put your foot down and show the child that you are in charge of their welfare and they have to follow suit. Believe me, my loving sweet daughter bit me today. Who would think? Once they can feel you have turned the corner, and they do know your every emotion I am sure you are aware, it will work but you have to be committed to whatever means you try or it will not work.

It sure is not easy this world of parenting, sure you feel guilty, sure you wonder if you did the right thing but Sofia really needs to learn to sleep all night. My kids (4 and 7) are in and out of our bed, we did all the co-sleeping/breastfeeding forever and it sure is nice but at some point the adult has to show them the way to the next step. My kids were never the ones you hear about who decide to have their own bed and all that stuff. I don't know those kids.

Leah maybe you have to give her a choice to begin. Be committed and be clear things are changing so tell Sofia if you stay in my bed no bottles, if you go in your room you can have them on your night stand. She gets forced into making her own choice but since she wants both right now maybe you can begin with breaking one habit and then take a break and then go to the next one. If either parent is too weak to go through it - take that one out and do it alone or she will play you off one another.

But most of all you have to be committed, you are not hurting her, she does not nutritionally need that food at night anymore and humans all around the world do this with no problem, you need to commit to get this sorted out. Its not so good for her teeth either. She will not even remember this and you are not feeding her to a pack of wolves.

Because believe me dear a 4 year old girl is much tougher and feistier then a 3 year old girl. Think of how you are and were, she is probably a lot like you. I had a boy first and this is all the more difficult. My daughter is 4.5 and she is a whole different can of worms. It takes strength to get through this and I cannot even think of the teen years.

Good luck, this is the first of many battles but by being a little tough and showing her who is in charge and what is good for her will be a good lesson for her to learn and she can show her kids someday. Think if it as a gift if that makes you feel better.
Val