Alex, I admire your strength, I wish you and your family the most joyous of holidays, Iam 45 years old, and was never blessed with the children I always wanted, last year I had to have a hysterictomy, so I'll never be blessed in that way, however, I do not understand how or why any Mother would do this to her children. It brakes my heart. You are a Rock, to your brothers and sisters Bless your heart and remember they need you to take care of yourself to take care of them. Be good to yourself. spend alittle of that money on YOURSELF. go back to school, a day at the spa, (Massage is wonderfully relaxing!)something that is just for you. then take care of those wonderful brothers and sisters and stepdad too. but remember to put some away for those hard times to come. bless you D'Andra