Four Ways to Improve Your Sex Life
Could more housework mean more sex? Are people over 50 more likely to have sex sooner than someone in their 20s? Sexologist and relationship expert Dr. Logan Levkoff reveals four new sex discoveries that could put a little more lovin’ in your future!
Sex happens sooner at 50 than at 20.
"We're sexual throughout our lives," Dr. Levkoff says, "and we're seeing that the older generations are sexual, too." She notes an Indiana University study that looked at people between 15 and 94 that showed that people over the age of 50 are experimenting and engaging in a variety of sex behaviors — it's not just teenagers. "When we hit a certain age, we're not affected by those old expectations of us," Dr. Levkoff concludes. "We know what sexual chemistry is, we want to kind of jump right into that and not play games. That's why we're seeing a lot of these online surveys that are saying people over the age of 50 are more likely to have sex on the first date than those younger than them."
Dr. Levkoff adds that there could also be a price to be paid for the more relaxed attitudes about sex in the older generation. "People over the age of 40 have the lowest rates of condom use of anyone in the population," she reports. "We have this idea that at a certain point in our lives if we're not worried about pregnancy we're not worried about anything. But we have an increasing number of cases of sexually transmitted infections in the over 50 population, so while we want you to have great sex throughout your lives, we want you to have smart and safe sex, too."
If you earn more money than your man, watch out!
In a recent study of men ages 18 to 29, it was shown that if a man was dependent economically on her female partner, he was five times more likely to cheat. Dr. Levkoff explains, "Some of it might have to do with stress for not working or not contributing as much, and then sabotaging your relationship through cheating. But I think it's really frustrating and unfortunate that we still have all these expectations of how men and women are supposed to contribute in a relationship. It's important thing for all of us to think about that we all have different contributions in a relationship and you can't really monetize them; it might be money, it might be parenting, it might be emotional support, and we really have to look at it that way."
The best sex I've had isn't with my husband!
Dr. Levkoff notes that an iVillage survey showed that 52 percent of women said that the best sex they had was not with their husband. "First of all," she explains, "we get all these messages handed to us like, 'Have sex like it was in the beginning!' or 'It can be as hot as it was then!' and we start to think that if there's something different that means it's bad. But the truth of the matter is that it's never like it was when you first met and everything was new, but that doesn't mean it can't be better. But we often don't talk about it, so we assume after a while that our partners know everything about us and can magical get everything, and it doesn't work that way."
Rachael asks if there's a way to bring some of the passion you may have experienced in the past without bringing up former relationships. Dr. Levkoff gives a resounding yes, and add, "It's really important that we keep talking and have this honest communication, otherwise we're never going to get the sex we want!"
More housework equals more sex.
"We probably wouldn't be surprised to note that if husbands do more housework they get more sex," Dr. Levkoff says, "but a new study says that the more housework a husband and a wife do, the more likely they are to be having sex with their spouse. So not just the man, but the woman also which is really kind of interesting. Shared responsibilities are very important ... and very sexy!"
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