Like any loving grandmother, Tonya enjoys buying her granddaughter plenty of toys and clothes, but Tonya's daughter Mollie says her mom takes it to the extreme, and fears that her little girl could become spoiled. How much is too much, and how do you lay down the law when it comes to your own mom? "They do really have to get on the same page," says Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, "because we don't want tension to build and we don't want resentment. We want to keep the relationship as great as it is right now."

Amy explains that there are specific roles that Tonya and Mollie have to assume when it comes to little Sydney. First, Tonya has to recognize that stuff is not love. "What our kids and grandkids want more than anything else is our time and attention," Amy says. "We don't want your grandchild to be excited to see you because she thinks you're bringing her the latest, greatest Barbie. We want her to be excited because she gets to spend time with you."

Amy recommends that Tonya start taking some mind, body and soul time with her granddaughter: "Take ten minutes, two times a day, when you are with her one on one, devoted to what she wants to do. Whatever it is, it's being one hundred percent focused and getting into her world; that enhances that emotional connection and gets the focus away from the stuff."

In terms of gift giving, Amy offers recommendations for how many and when to buy. "Birthdays, holidays and maybe change of season - but that's it," she says. "Other than those times, we want kids to play with what they have. With regard to how many, three is a good rule of thumb. If you have a big family and everyone's showering the child with gifts, you may want to back off on that a bit. But when you have so many gifts, they don't even appreciate them - one Barbie looks like the next!"

For Mollie, her assignments have to do with communication. "I want you to sit down with your mom and agree on three to five non-negotiables," Amy instructs. "They might be: Sydney naps from 1-4, or no sweets unless it's the weekend, or maybe it's around the gifts, but these are the things that you are just firm on. It'll give Tonya flexibility but make sure that your most important rules are respected." Amy also recommends that Mollie and her mother have a weekly review. "Since you're a team in the child care situation, on Friday sit down and talk about how the week went."

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