How to Have Great Sex During Perimenopause
Q&A with Organizational Pro Peter Walsh + Dermatologist Shares A…
Actor Hank Azaria + Freezer Meals + Artichokes 2 Ways with Rach
See Inside Barbara Corcoran's Stunning NY Apartment + It's Steak…
The Best Moments From 17 Seasons of the Show Will Make You Laugh…
How to Make Chicken and Lobster Piccata | Richard Blais
Donnie Wahlberg Spills Details About NKOTB's First Ever Conventi…
Donnie Wahlberg + Jenny McCarthy Say Rach Is Such a "Joy" + Look…
How to Make Crabby Carbonara | Rachael Ray
Rach Chats "Firsts" In Flashback From Our First Episode Ever In …
How to Make Tortilla with Potatoes, Piquillo Peppers and Mancheg…
How to Make Sesame Cookies | Buddy Valastro
How to Make Apple-Cider Braised Pork Chop Sandwiches with Onion …
Rach's Chef Pals Say Goodbye to Show in Surprise Video Message
Celebrity Guests Send Farewell Messages After 17 Seasons of the …
Andrew McCarthy Teases Upcoming "Brat Pack" Reunion Special
How to Make Spanakopipasta | Rachael Ray
Michelle Obama Toasts Rach's 17 Years on the Air With a Heartfel…
How to Make Shrimp Burgers | Jacques Pepin
Andrew McCarthy Chokes Up Discussing Emotional Trip to Spain wit…
Celebrity Guests Send Farewell Messages After 17 Seasons of the …
Q: "I think I’m going through some perimenopausal stages as I’m starting to have symptoms like hot flashes and moodiness. How will this affect my sex life, and how can I prepare for it?"
— Dorian, studio audience member
A: "The fun thing about what you're about to experience is that you really can't prepare — it's going to be an adventure," certified sex educator, Shan Boodram, says. "Your body is going through some changes, just like you did in puberty, and you may come out having no symptoms and no effects to your sex drive, or you may have a ton."
Her advice? Focus on what you can control — and realize what's out of your control, too. As a starting point, Shan suggests trying to think about desire as a three-part system:
1. Drive
Your biological sex drive is controlled by what your body's doing — your hormones are spiking, slowing down, etcetera. "You're not really in control for this one, so you just have to be patient with your body and be accepting," Shan says.
2. Belief System
"Do you believe that you're sexy, you are fierce, you are worthy of all of that desire?" Shan asks. Your belief system is crucial because it fuels your sex drive.
RELATED: The Best Sex Tips No Matter Your Age
3. Motivation
Your partner also plays a crucial role: How are they making you feel? Shan notes that open and loving communication is key. Your partner needs to understand that you might be a little more sensitive, that you might need a little encouragement or reinforcement.
Shan also recommends external motivations — aka that lingerie look that helps you to feel your sexiest, or even some boudoir devices to help get you in the mood. Two of her favorites are "The Womanizer" — what Shan calls "a good entry point sex toy" — and the Crave necklace, a discreet necklace pendant that does double duty in the bedroom that Shan herself helped to design.
And why not? There's no harm in having a little fun in the bedroom!
