How To Survive Holiday Stress As a Couple Without Sacrificing Intimacy—Expert Advice From Dr. Drew

No doubt about it: the holidays are a stressful time for all. While dealing with the tasks of everyday life, you may have the added responsibilities of hosting, shopping for presents, balancing family time and more. It’s enough to leave you wiped out.

A couple of our viewers are dealing with a similar issue, which is leaving them little time and energy to maintain intimacy.

Q: Help! We’re a married couple with two kids under the age of six and are very busy planning for the holidays. (We’ll be hosting a minimum of 20 people for Christmas!) I have my hands full with cooking, cleaning, decorating and looking after the kids. My husband, not so much. How can we share the responsibilities of the holidays and still find time to be intimate?

- Yvette and Robert, viewers

The couple called on relationship expert Dr. Drew Pinsky to help find a balance between taking on the holidays and still finding alone time.

“It’s going to be a little drought for a while until you get through this time,” Dr. Drew admits, telling Robert he should focus on being a father and take some of the weight off of Yvette.

“What men miss is that foreplay starts with dinner. Assisting in chores can contribute to something called receptivity,” Dr. Drew continues. “That’s a concept that doesn’t get through our thick skulls as men.”

For couples approaching the holiday season, Dr. Drew suggests they write down all that needs to be done and find a way to evenly split the responsibilities. That way, all of the tasks won’t fall on one person and leave them exhausted.

And to keep things spicy in the bedroom, Dr. Drew tells Robert to pick a day to plan a special evening that requires Yvette to just show up.

“Pick a night and you arrange the whole thing so she doesn’t even have to think about it. Get a sitter for the kids,” Dr. Drew says. “[...] If you start with dinner and really focus on her and where she’s at, I bet that night will go a little better.”