For some, the holiday season is a time to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. (Preferably on a beach, with a cocktail in hand.) For others, they’re looking to enjoy their time off without all the frills and from the comfort of their own home.
So when plans conflict (especially between spouses), what’s the solution? A viewer finds herself in this exact situation with her husband and has called on relationship expert Dr. Drew Pinsky for a bit of advice.
Q: I am a stay-at-home mom and my 50-year-old husband is an assistant principal of an elementary school, so he can only take vacation when there is no school. I would like to go away and do something as a family during the holidays, but he feels that sitting on the couch and watching TV is a vacation. How do we come to a solution without causing an argument?
- Stephanie, viewer
A: In this case, Dr. Drew suggests that she try to make plans that will make both of them happy.
“Try to create travel for him that is effortless, that’s not too far and not crossing time zones,” he says. “I would encourage a compromise.”
However, the viewer’s question raised a red flag for Dr. Drew, who suspected there could be a larger issue.
“[For] a man in his 50s who can’t get off the couch during a break, get a medical evaluation,” Dr. Drew says. “One of the presenting features of heart disease sometimes is loss of stamina, depression, various kinds of lack of libido.”
“Don’t always assume something is an interpersonal or mental health problem," Dr. Drew continues. "Always get a medical evaluation first, particularly for people over 50.”
Should the viewer’s husband come out with a clean bill of health, Rachael has a suggestion of her own (and it doesn’t sound half bad).
“Just go on vacation,” she says. “[...] If he wants to stay at home and watch a lot of TV, let him hang out with the kids and go with your girlfriends and get a tan!”