For better or for worse, dating apps are a huge part of the modern day dating scene. So, how do you navigate dating apps when you're looking for a real relationship? Dating expert Matthew Hussey is here to share his tips.
He's helping Victoria, a 22-year-old viewer who says she has never had a boyfriend, take her online dating profile to the next level. His advice is relevant to anyone who wants to find the right match online, so listen up!
DO use photos that show off your personality.
"You look beautiful in your pictures. You look great, they're clear pictures, but they don't show very much about your life," Matthew tells Victoria about her current dating app profile.
"You want to have great pictures, but you want to show what you get up to, what your passions are, what activities you like doing. If I'm a guy and I want to message you [about] those photos, the problem is I don't really know what to say other than, 'You look beautiful.' And then you're going to go, 'So stereotypical.' But you haven't given me anything else to work with," the dating expert explains.
Since Victoria is into food, he suggests she uses photos of her traveling and eating food.
DO keep it brief.
When people first see your profile on a dating app, they're not buying into the detail, they're buying into the idea of you, according to Matthew. In fact, the more detail you give someone, the more reason you give them to say no. This is especially the case with men, most of whom are skimmers at best, he says.
DON'T shy away from specifics.
This doesn't mean you should give so little information that they know nothing about you, Matthew emphasizes. Aim to strike a balance: provide enough detail to give them a good sense of you, but keep it short enough so they don't get distracted by the fifteen other things popping up on their phone at the same time.
"You need to give him a little more to work with," Matthew says of Victoria's two chosen answers to the prompts on her dating app profile.
DO include the type of person you're looking for.
Instead of writing "You should leave a comment if… You love food," like Victoria has, Matthew suggests the following:
You think finding new delicious places to try food is one of the most exciting parts of life (and only if spicy food is essential in your life...kidding....kind of ?)"
You should write specifically about the type of guy or girl you want to spend your day with, the dating expert says. People often forget that as much as their profile is there to sell themselves, it's also a great tool for prefacing how you want the other person to act around you.
First, it tells someone reading your profile that you don't let just anyone into your life. This raises your value and creates an element of challenge for the potential match. Second, it gives a clear indicator of how a person needs to act around you in order for you to be attracted. It's effectively a way of dictating his or her behavior before you even meet, Matthew says.
DON'T be afraid to have opinions and a sense of humor.
Including your likes and dislikes about life, having a sense of humor about yourself and having opinions are all key when it comes to finding the right match on a dating app, according to Matthew.
"You can have one playful answer, but you want to use another answer to show you're something else. If every answer shows you're playful, then you're just playful," he tells Victoria. "People don't get addicted to one quality. They get addicted to many qualities in the same person."
So, for the "I take pride in…" prompt, Matthew's new-and-improved version reads:
"I take pride in…
Being kind to people! As cheesy as it may sound, I really do believe that acts of kindness are one of the most beautiful things about being alive."
"Now you show a unique pairing of qualities: kindness and playfulness (and your love for food). He has plenty to work off of," Matthew says. "You may be beautiful, but beauty doesn't separate us in a world where anyone can make a beautiful picture. Your voice and your story will separate you."