Don't Make These Texting Mistakes In The Early Stages Of Dating

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Playing Modern Dating Advice: The RIGHT Way to Answer Text Message Questions | Dating Coach Matthew Hussey
Modern Dating Advice: The RIGHT Way to Answer Text Message Questions | Dating Coach Matthew Hussey Aired February 10, 2020

Dating expert Matthew Hussey is helping some of our viewers with their modern day dating dilemmas. He dished out advice about who should pay for a first date and gave tips to make your dating app profile stand out. 

Of course, he tackled texting too—which has become the standard mode of communication during the early stages of online dating (and can be tricky).

A viewer named Morgan wanted to know how to politely decline or deflect a question that makes her uncomfortable, like when a guy asked about her political views over text message — before they had even met in person.

text message chain
Rachael Ray Show

In general, Matthew advises against asking questions about politics when you're first talking and getting to know someone.

"He said, 'Do you have any strong political beliefs?' Which, by the way … that's a bit of an odd question to send someone by text," Matthew says. "It almost sounds like someone trying to feel out [because] he's got extreme beliefs and this is his way of seeing if you do, too."

The dating expert does say that the response Morgan sent back comes off as a little abrupt. Especially over text, a straightforward tone can be misinterpreted as defensive. If someone asks a question that you don't like or want to answer, there's a way to respond that gets that message across but in a slightly more playful way.

Don't want to answer a question? DON'T! Playfully deflect instead.

example text message response
Rachael Ray Show

For example, Matthew says that instead of Morgan's response: "I don't talk politics over text message. I rarely talk about it in person either," she could have said something more along the lines of this:

"Lol that's the equivalent of a text grenade! 😂 I've never really found politics to be an easygoing conversation between strangers. Have you?"

This keeps the conversation going, but steers it in a more lighthearted direction, Matthew says. If the person really is into politics, you have asked them a question back which gives them the opportunity to tell you if politics is something that they value in a relationship.

"One thing to remember in life is you never, ever have to answer the question you were asked," the dating expert says.

"If someone says, 'Do you have strong beliefs about politics?' you could say, 'No, but I have very strong beliefs about food.' And then start talking about an amazing restaurant you went to last week."

Don't be too literal — you get to choose where the conversation goes.

"If someone says, 'How are you?' you could be literal and say, 'I'm fine.' Or, you could say, 'I'm so great. I just saw the most amazing movie last night. Have you seen it?' I say what I want to say. I take the conversation in the direction I want to go," Matthew says.

The dating expert believes that especially in today's digital age, finding love can be so simple. Matthew put his three simple habits to help you find love into a free guide, which you can get by entering your email address at www.3lovehabits.com

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