Is Chivalry Still Alive? Who Should Pay On a First Date? A Modern Dating Expert Answers

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Playing My Date Didn't Want Me To Pay For Her — What's The Right Move? | Dating Coach Matthew Hussey
My Date Didn't Want Me To Pay For Her — What's The Right Move? | Dating Coach Matthew Hussey Aired February 10, 2020

When a viewer named Mark asked dating expert Matthew Hussey to weigh in on a recent first date experience, Matthew had some insightful advice.

Q: "I went on a date a few months ago, and it went really well. At the end of the date, we were both kind of going back and forth on who should pay. When I insisted that I pay, she took a lot of offense to that and told me that she could handle it. In today's world, is chivalry still alive?"

— Mark, audience member

A: There is no absolute right and wrong in this situation, Matthew says.

"I was brought up by a mother who taught me if you don't offer to pay and then pay, you're not being a gentleman. So that's the paradigm I grew up with, but that doesn't make it absolute and correct," he continues.

Matthew's advice? "If you like paying, you need to find someone who likes when you pay." 

The point isn't to worry about who was right or wrong here, because chances are that if they disagree on this, the two won't get along. So, Mark should focus on finding someone who does like him paying. 

The only caveat, of course, would be if instead of communicating that he had a really great time with her and would love to treat her, he arrogantly gave the impression that this is what he does for every woman — because maybe she doesn't want to be just another woman. From what we heard, though, that doesn't seem to be the case here.

"All you need to know — and this is all anyone needs to know in life — let's stop worrying about why people are the way they are and go find someone who likes the way we are," the dating expert says.

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